


Corrupted

by Damselindistress44



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: 2003, 404 Kylo Ren not found, Also addicted to porn, Awkward Virgin Kylo Ren, BEN is a pervert, Bath Sex, Ben Solo has a Big Dick, Ben has bad thoughts about himself, Ben is fucking weird, Ben teaches rey, Bondage kink, Coming In Pants, Crying, Cunnilingus, Daddy Kink, Dark fic, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Dirty Talk, F/M, Female Ejaculation, Fingerfucking, First Kiss, Forced Masturbation, Gaslighting, He has a scary obsession, Humiliation, Illnesses, Innocent Rey, Loss of Virginity, Making Out, Manipulation, Masturbation, Mercy is the safe word, Mirror Sex, Mommy Kink, Mutual Masturbation, No beta so beware, Non-Consensual Somnophilia, Non-Consensual Touching, Non-Consensual Voyeurism, Not recommended to read if you are having suicidal/bad thoughts about yourself, Oral Sex, Past Character Death, Past Rey and Ben friendship, Rey has amnesia, Sex Toys, Shaving, Some fluff if you squint, Squirting, They both had fucked up childhoods, They both went to therapy, This is not healthy, Vaginal Sex, Virgin Ben Solo, Virgin Rey, Voyeurism, dirty smut, guided masturbation, he is still dominant tho, lingere, mention of depression, mention of suicidal thoughts
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-09
Updated: 2021-02-25
Packaged: 2021-03-14 20:47:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29302182
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Damselindistress44/pseuds/Damselindistress44
Summary: Sometimes things don’t go to plan.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Rey, Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 6
Kudos: 46





	1. Entry

**Author's Note:**

> Please read the tags because this fic may not be for everyone.
> 
> “Love does not dominate; it cultivates.”
> 
> -Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

_  
_

_January 7, 2003_

  
What a peculiar way to express emotions such as these. Writing on paper seems a bit _off_ to me... But for some reason, I can’t seem to get _her_ out of my head. I heard that writing down in a journal can help with such things. I haven’t written in one in years since I had that weird sad adolescent faze that every kid seems to go through. I looked through it today and remembered all those unpleasant memories I had when I wanted to take my own life. It was cringe as I recalled and Leia took me to therapy and that is when I met her. The small, frail, girl caught my attention the moment my eyes had met hers. I saw a deep sadness in that pool of cool green. Mixed in with frustration of the light brown color that swirled along with it. We were both sad kids and that was when I was fourteen, a lanky tall teenager. She was like twelve, much smaller than me and I towered over her. When I looked down her brown hair was what attracted me the most to her. It smelled good, she smelled good, like strawberries and mango. _Lovely._

_“You’re blocking the doorway,”_ she had said to me, her tone was flat and lifeless like therapy was more of a chore than to help her. 

I moved out of the way to let her through. But she stuck with me since then. I don’t why but she did. A stranger that I got obsessed with. We soon became good friends, just me and her but I couldn’t comprehend anything about her. Weird, she is not like other people there is something about her that I can’t grasp. Like some sort of inhuman feeling, I get whenever I saw her from those days on. She stopped coming only a year in, how strange. Well, that is all for today, even though it has been five years since then I hope to see my old friend again.

_-Ben_

_January 13, 2003_

Today was weird, my mother called me today and said that she wanted to see me again. I haven’t seen her in person since I graduated high school. She said that she got a new housekeeper to help her around the house since my father died five years ago. Leia mentioned that the girl was sweet, nice and the girl was still in high school and I think she was eighteen. I don’t care nonetheless I do owe my mother a trip to see her again, even though my father's death was my fault. Which is why I didn’t want to see her again, but I should apologize to her. 

She lives in Iowa my home state, as I reside in Nevada. It would take a few days to get there and I’m probably only gonna stay for a week, depending on my work schedule. Also, she moved houses, she doesn’t live in one story, three-bedroom home I grew up in. She bought a two-story house with four bedrooms. I was happy for her moving on but I can’t help but feel disappointed that I won’t see my childhood home again. It is still better than my run-down apartment that has thin, cracking walls. The number of arguments, moaning, even downright casual conversations that I’ve heard had been an issue since I’ve moved in. I live alone, I’ve always been alone. I don’t do relationships. My phone is always empty and doesn’t even talk to my coworkers at work. So no one would miss me even if I leave for a week. 

Oh, and I saw an old man run in the parking lot and he ran into a lady loading her groceries and the cops got involved. Then I walked away as they arrested the man because he started to get handsy with the lady. This reminded me of the time when I was in high school and this one boy kicked me on the back of my shin to trip me, I hit him and I ended up with a bruise on my chest that turned yellow and purple. To me now it’s funny. Why did I even mention that?

I decided to see her again and I called my mom in the afternoon and confirmed that I was going to visit for a week, she was excited for me to come and I bought my plane ticket to Des Moines, Iowa as soon as my work shift ended. I’ll be leaving in a few days, but I already have my stuff packed. 

I wonder if the girl still lives in Iowa, she must be an adult now; probably still in high school. I hope she is doing well, better than me. I hope that her hair is the same color, as well as her eyes, I hope not too much has changed about her. 

This is off topic but my counselor recommended to stay away from pornography, I have some sort of addiction I guess. I watch it when I’m bored or whenever I want to masturbate. To be honest with myself it’s all I watch, other than the Tv. She said that it can harm my future relationships with a lover? It can ruin your image of sex or something like that, I wasn’t paying attention. But I tried to cut down and have been clean for only three days, I focused more on the shows on Tv, most of which are uninteresting. Then, I saw my counselor once more before I leave and she recommended I bring my journal just to keep in check with my emotions. 

But the girl still stays fresh in my memories. I remember once I saw her at the store with another woman who wasn’t the one that brought her to therapy. Her parents maybe weren’t good ones and made her go into foster care. Furthermore, I walked up to her when she was looking at the cereal while her caretaker was somewhere else. 

I gathered up my courage with timid emotions and walked up to her. “Have I seen you around?” I asked. She looked at me, her eyes still sung with the same sadness, and nodded her head. 

“I think I’ve seen you around the mental health clinic. Right? Unless I’m mistaken,” she responded. 

“Yea,” I looked at the boxes of cereal, trying not to intimidate her. What could I say I was a tall teenager and towered over her like a giant. “So do you go to the high school?”

“I’m homeschooled by my foster mother- and I’m in the seventh grade.”

I wanted to ask her name but her foster mother had called and she said, “I’ll see you around.”

Who knew we would have become good friends, even if it didn’t last that long, but I wanted more of her. I wanted to touch her hair and stroke her face. Because she was the only person that could relate to me, the only person to know what it’s like to be me. I wish I was with her. I know that this isn’t love but more of an interest- one that could become unhealthy or is unhealthy. But I like that, I like that she is on my mind all the time. She will be the only woman I want in my bed, no one else. The only girl I’ve ever been interested in.

I remember soon after I would touch myself to her, she was just so addicting to think about. I remember her face, eyes, and her hair, then when I’m about to come I think about her body, her lean hips, long legs, and her small breasts- oh how I want to touch her breasts. I’ve woken up from wet dreams about her, my come floods my boxers and I have to wash them in the middle of the night- which is very annoying. I get hard just thinking about her maybe because I’m not watching porn anymore, but I don’t know. I’ve never had sex or been in a relationship, I only kissed one girl who was in eighth grade but that was on a dare. Never doing that again. And I think that maybe I should just stop entirely and look for someone to date when I get back however I think the single life is great. I’m okay being alone for now, until I see her again. 

_-Ben_


	2. Remembrance

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy Valentines Day❤️ Thank you all for the kudos and hits!
> 
> This chapter will probably be the shortest out of all of them and the rest will most likely be 3000 words or more. Also this fic will be a taking a much more mature turn from now on. Please read the tags before continuing.

January 17, 2003

I’m leaving today to Iowa and I am not looking forward to it, I called Leia and she is preparing one of the guest rooms for my stay. The thing is I’m kind of pissed, she did not inform me that the housekeeper is living with her, like what the hell. She did say that she wouldn’t get in the way of anything but she is a housekeeper! Of course, she is going to be in the way. I thought that the housekeeper living with their boss was an old thing, Leia is not old so I don’t know why she is letting a random girl stay at the house. Let alone an eighteen year old! Doesn’t she have parents or school to go to? Friends to stay with other than a forty-six-year-old woman. It doesn’t make sense to me.

I bought some sketch pads to pass over the three-hour flight from Nevada to Iowa, I also bought some sleeping pills so I won’t get “urges” while at my mother’s house. I don’t want to soil my mother's sheets as I had in my adolescent years. I would have to do it in the shower rather than in bed, I also don’t want the housekeeper having to see come stained sheets, she better not touch my shit either. The flight will already be a nightmare and the housekeeper touching my stuff will already be a nightmare. This week will be a shit show like all the other ones. Fuck my life.

January 18, 2003

Did I mention that I brought my laptop and some porn DVDs as well? No, I didn’t well you know now, I brought them to watch when I’m alone at night. I don’t care what my counselor had to say about porn, avoid this, avoid that, how is this supposed to make me feel better when masturbating and porn does. Anyway, thank fuck that my plane ride was short but of course some old woman had to sleep on my shoulder the whole way. I’m not some pillow lady. My mom picked me up from the airport and I gave her a card I got from the dollar store. It said, “Go shorty, it’s your birthday,” but I scribbled it out poorly and put, “Greetings mom, I’m sorry for taking so long.” The writing was shaky because I wrote on the airplane, she was happy nonetheless and I had to crouch a bit to hug her.

She chuckled against my chest, “Your card was right, I am a shorty. Unless you’re just a big tree, Benny boy.”

“You seem much smaller than I remember,” I mentioned.

“You are much bigger than I remember, what are they feeding you in Nevada?” She backed up to look at my face.

“I’ve been living off warmup dinners.”

“Well, I’ll ask my housekeeper if she can make something for us tonight, homemade.”

I stayed silent. I could see by the look on Leia's face that she didn't want to bicker.

She went on, “Well, we better leave before the afternoon traffic becomes a nightmare.”

...

Driving through the roads of Iowa had been a road down memory lane, most of which was sad. Like the one time when we had to rush to the hospital because I sprained my ankle trying to be a superhero, jumping off the couch and landing on my feet wrong. My father called me an “idiot” so I learned a new word for the day. Leia tried making spell certain words such as “blue” and “butterfly”. But I kept crying because it hurt so bad. Affliction, agony, torture, what do those words mean again? It felt like burning and stinging on my foot. I got a week off school though, so I guess it was worth it? It wasn’t like any friends would miss me.

We drove up to the gate that enters the neighborhood. Lots of two-story houses that had nice groomed yards, fancy porches, and beautiful white archways. This is a rich neighborhood, indeed.

Leia got out of the car to put in the number to open the gate.

She quickly got back in, “The code is 17837.”

“How were you able to afford such a place mom?” I asked.

“Well ever since your father passed I was able to buy a new house and with only two people in the house, the money adds up, along with not having to feed a growing boy like your size.”

Only if she knew how guilty I felt because of Dad's death. How much it still stings to this day. I’m sorry mom I took away your whole world, I thought. My grip on my jeans tightened and I felt a flush of heat go through my body. Was I about to cry? A twenty-three-year-old adult crying in front of his mom like a little baby? _Pathetic_ , the one voice in the back of my head sneered. _You always cry because you’re weak, you’re expecting your mother to comfort you when she shouldn’t even be nice to you in the first place- dad is dead because of you._

Ouch.

We turned into the driveway and the car shuts off. The house was beautiful with a white porch that had columns on each side with two big windows on each side and- oh double doors that led into the house. It was a big house with a full kitchen from what I could see from the car and had tons of space.

I retrieved my bags and we went inside, and it was pretty as a picture. The living room was huge that had an L-shaped couch that went perfectly with the hardwood floors. And the Tv was nothing like the one at my apartment or the one from my childhood. It was flat and didn’t have a big back to it.

“Dear, can you make me and my son some tea!” Leia called.

“Yes, just give me a minute!” The girl called. Her tone was much more cheery than what I was used to and had a slight British accent. She must love her job as a housekeeper. I mean I can’t blame her this house was amazing.

I was going to carry my suitcase up the stairs when Leia stopped me with her hand on my chest with her motherly touch. “She can bring that up for you.”

Was I going to insist? No.

“Let me show you around the house,” Leia said.

I wanted to, but of course, the nerd in me took over and I headed straight to the Tv.

“Is this the latest model? Are the colors clearer than the other one?” I asked.

So many questions came to me at once. This was the latest model! I inspected it like it was from the future. She chuckled, “Yes, I knew my son was going to be all over the Tv.”

She turned it on and it came to life. It was way different than the old ones- unlike the small on at my apartment I didn’t have to lean in and slouch to watch what was going on- this one I could sit back and enjoy.

“Here is the remote,” Leia said, handing me a long remote that had many buttons on it. On the tv I had, I had to use knobs and only had three channels playing one of which was in Spanish so I could only understand two shows. Which was lame, but just imagine how many shows I could watch with this Tv. I was going to try it out.

But then.

She walked in.

The girl holding two cups of tea both steaming from the hot water. I didn’t know how the housekeeper looked like until now. She was gorgeous, with hazel eyes that shone like gems from the sunlight, her chestnut brown hair that was shiny and looked so soft to the touch like silk, and once she set down the cups of tea on the coffee table. I realized that maybe I knew this girl from the past. Then, I got a whiff of her.

 _Mango_.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Twitter @damselNSFW and @Damselinwriting :)


	3. Hide

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warning  
> *non-consensual somnophilia  
> *non-consensual touching  
> *non-consensual voyeurism

“This is Rey, I don’t think you guys ever met,” Leia said.

_ We have,  _ I wanted to say but she may have forgotten about me.

She held out her hand in greeting, “Nice to meet you uh.”

“Ben, you can call me Ben,” I said while shaking her hand.

“Rey can you take up his luggage to the guest bedroom,” Leia asked.

“Yes,” she was heading toward the luggage.

No, no my darling angel shouldn’t be doing stuff for me. 

“Oh no, I got this,” I insisted as I grabbed the luggage, slightly brushing over her hand, she smiled. She smiled at  _ me,  _ my angel looked more beautiful smiling. She was still as beautiful from the day I met her. I also touched her, so quick but it felt so warm. I had to head upstairs and take this feeling away, my cock was already getting hard in my pants.  _ Rey _ , fuck how much I missed her. I walked up the stairs until neither Rey nor Leia couldn’t see me anymore. The guest bedroom had its bathroom so I went inside and locked the door.

_ Rey, _ I took off my belt.  _ Rey, I thought as I  _ pulled down my boxers and smeared my pre-come on the tip of my cock.  _ Rey.  _ I held the base of my cock and started to gently rub.

_ Hold on you disrespectful shit,  _ the voice in my head said.  _ Your mother invited you inside her house with open arms, she wanted to show you around and you start to touch yourself to her housekeeper? _

_ Oh but it’s so naughty, _ another voice said.  _ She and Rey won’t know just make it quick and they won’t know a thing. Hurry or else they will suspect. _

_ Think about what you did to your dad, your mother will be so disappointed once she finds out you touched yourself already. Have some basic common sense, don’t touch yourself in your mother's house when you’ve only been inside for ten minutes. _

The voice had won and I was left with shame. I pulled up my pants and put my belt back on and stood in the bathroom trying to let my erection go down but it wouldn’t. So I thought of things that would turn me off.  _ A naked old man, painting, playing chess, Justin Bieber.  _ It started going down and I washed my hands and started unpacking my stuff, putting clothes in the empty drawers, and setting my laptop on the desk. Yup this was going to be a long week.

“Do you need any help, unpacking?” she asked at the doorway.

“No, but thanks.”

She left, so I settled in to watch some DVDs on my laptop, not the porn ones this time, I brought some movies that I like. Not much was available or enjoyable so got bored quickly.

What I needed at the moment was a shower. It had been a long plane ride and the room was warming up so a cold one should do. The shower was a decent size, the one at my apartment had been small to the point where the shower head would hit mine. I know I am much bigger than the average man. Leia would call me a gentle giant because I was shy and looked deceiving. Which was why I was seen as more of a creep than a regular man.

Besides that point, I have been standing in the shower like I was in some sort of sad music video. You know the types where they just look depressed. Anyway, my father would also say that I was  _ too emotional  _ for a guy. It could have been from my depression from that age. My counselor had said that I recovered, which is good but it feels like I have even more problems than before. Bills, my porn addiction, and my lack to communicate like a decent human being. 

Back to the emotional part, I may seem like a wimp or emo like some may say. I just have certain thoughts about myself and others that would make me feel much more frustrated than usual. And from that frustration, I would get angry and from that anger, I would cry. Leia would comfort me while Han told me to suck it up and be a  _ man.  _ Which I think made it much worse because I then started to bottle up the feelings that made me have angry outbursts or tantrums if you will. Then, Han would call me emotional for that again. I couldn’t win with that man. Some parts miss him while others hate him for being such a bad father. 

My fingers were beginning to become pruny, so I washed off the excess soap on my skin.  _ Pale,  _ I thought. Wouldn’t people prefer someone tan? Should I get a tan? Would that ruin my hair? Or will it do nothing? Rey’s skin is tan, I wonder if she is tan beneath clothing. And now I’m hard again. I should get a hold of myself. It’s like I’m going through puberty again. I hate myself almost as much as I hate this. 

_ Let’s think of something else, try saying one thing you like about yourself _ , a voice said in my head.

If I were to say the one thing I liked about myself (my counselor also recommended to say this on a daily) it would be my hair. Well, I personally think it’s nice, I like the length and the way it feels, like a plush blanket or soft feathers. Kids at school would call me a punk or emo because of this. I just ignored it until I eventually shaved it off, then they started calling dumbo because of my ears. Some would even say that I could hear colors. I have to admit it made me laugh but it still hurt my feelings.

How does one even hear colors? Was that a metaphor? If Rey saw my ears she would probably laugh or poke fun at me with her other friends. I bet she is popular, I mean look at her, she’s beautiful and all the popular girls at school were pretty so she is bound to be one of them, right? What if she brings a boyfriend over and I hear them doing  _ that.  _ If I caught them with each other’s hands down their pants I wouldn’t have time to think or say anything. I would ruin the moment and punch the guy. 

_ Maybe I should go back to school, _ I said to myself while I was drying my hair off in the mirror.  _ Start a career and impress Rey with my money. _ Or Is that wrong because I’m assuming that she just wants money? Not a relationship. I don’t know. I continued to dry myself off.

I then put the towel around my waist because I don’t like it when I walk out and feel the cold air down below once I get out of the restroom. Grabbing the door handle and turning it to exit out of the bathroom.

And.

Rey was standing there with a few blankets in hand. An awkward moment passed as I stared at her in the doorway.  _ Why is she staring at me like that, _ I thought, then looked down to see that my towel fell onto the floor.

_ Why is my luck shitty? _

Here I was complaining that I don’t like the cold air hitting my groin when I didn’t even notice it fell. I quickly grabbed the towel to cover up.

“I’m so sorry,” Rey said as she quickly turned around, her blush was so dark that she looked like she was about to faint. “I didn’t know you were getting dressed.” 

Everything felt hot all of the sudden. What am I supposed to do in a situation like this? Hug her and say sorry? Agree to never talk again? It was so humiliating. In the last twelve hours, Rey has already seen my private area, something no woman has ever seen. It was so embarrassing but a part of me hoped that she liked what she saw.

“I-uh sorry, I should have changed in the bathroom.”

“No, no I could’ve just knocked and waited until you answered,” her tone was one of humiliation, and it showed, she was covering her eyes with her left arm. “I’ll just leave these here.”

She placed the extra blankets on my bed (which was nearest to the doorway) still covering her eyes. __ She turned around and I took a good look at her ass as she exited the room. Her sundress was up to her ankles. I didn’t complain she still looked sexy as hell. 

What made me feel more egotistical was that I was still kind of hard when she saw my cock. Trust me, I’m a big guy and some parts are more than likely  _ proportional _ . It still didn’t take away the embarrassment though. All of this happened and it’s barely noon.

-

When I saw Rey for the rest of the afternoon it was awkward glances or shady smiles, I guess we had a mutual agreement to not speak of the accident whatsoever. As the sky was becoming a darker blue I wandered around the house, mainly the second-floor hallway, and stumbled upon Leia at the end looking through an old cardboard box.

“Look what I found,” Leia said while holding out a box.

_ Damn, I haven’t seen this in years. _ It was my old calligraphy set I used when I wrote bad poems.

“Where did you find this?” I asked. 

“I was digging around the box that had our old photos and I found it. I thought I lost it when I moved.”

“What is that?” Rey asked while carrying laundry.

“It’s Ben’s old calligraphy set,” Leia replied.

“You do calligraphy?” Rey said with excitement.

_ Yesn’t.  _

“I used to but  _ don’t  _ anymore.”

“Do you think that you can teach me some after I’m finished with laundry?”

“Yes.”

Once I got back into my room I looked through the box to find the ink was still in good quality and the pen was still clean and worked properly. I also looked through the old poems I wrote when I was a teenager. The paper was brown and some were torn, a lot talked about the times I wanted to die. I wrote about whether I would spend the afterlife in heaven or hell. 

Some of them weren’t too bad, but boy majority of them were dogshit. I only found one I liked which I wrote on March 15, 1996. It said:

_ As the wavy roads flow like waves of the sea, _

_ I see one that is gilded in the moonlight _

_ As though it were special  _

_ I searched through the turquoise sands _

_ To find a sea of loneliness _

_ The wave had vanished to be replaced by a pool of black _

_ Like the heart that breaks like stone _

_ The stars dance with the white moon _

_ Burning bright with no affliction  _

_ This is how I want to die _

_ With no sorrow or no pain. _

I tucked them all into my suitcase, I rather much eat a rotten banana than let Rey see those. Maybe I should write a poem about her.

It had been so long since I wrote in cursive, so I practiced a bit before Rey came in (she knocked and waited for me to answer) and we awkwardly sat next to each other as I showed her how to write. I switched the tip to my favorite, using a soft voice I said:

“I use a dip pen and the way to use this is not that complicated. Don’t use fountain pen ink, the consistency Is different and would probably be too liquidy to use for dip pens.”

Dipping the tip of the pen in ink and taking off the excess ink using the edge of the jar to make it smooth. I wrote my name in cursive, making sure to go slow to show her the way to do it. Once I was done it looked bad. My skills have gone downhill from a few years back.

“That looks so good,” Rey said to me. “I’ve never seen such beautiful writing.”

_ Guess not,  _ I said to myself, proud. 

“Do you want to try?” I asked while holding the pen to her.

She took it, slightly brushing her fingers over mine, “Yes.”

Her hands were delicate like glass, the way they moved looked so graceful as she jotted the first word.  _ Hello, _ in a regular cursive style. But her pen was angled weirdly because the lettering was thin and rocky. Like from a cheap horror film. 

_ She’s doing it wrong,  _ the voice said.

“Here,” I flipped the pen over so the flat part was facing out and positioned her hand more correctly. She gasped from the warmth of my hand. “I have a letter chart you can use to practice.”

I got up to receive the chart from the box. It was old and wrinkled but still should do. Then I got the idea if I could get her to be with me by the end of the week. I could have her sit on my cock while she practices her calligraphy. 

_ Stop it, you sick bastard _ .

Placing the chart by her and she had already spelled her name in cursive. Beautiful, like her name, Rey. Rey of light. She has a pretty name while mine is basic,  _ Ben.  _ It sounds so plain. I never liked my name.  _ Ben Solo, _ sounds like a fictional name from some sci-fi film. 

The sun was setting, causing the room to be cast in pink shadows. Rey was still practicing while I was unpacking, she wrote names like Finn, Rose, and even wrote Leia’s name. Her handwriting was getting better with each letter and she got the hang of dipping the pen and wiping off the excess. She also tried different tips for different styles. Although she did stick with the first tip throughout, which was my favorite to use. Perhaps it was her favorite too. 

About ten minutes passed and she had to start dinner, I told her I would see her later and she thanked me for teaching her how to write. I went back to the paper she used. All sorts of writing, quotes, names, and one that made my heart sink.  _ She wrote my name _ , I said to myself. It looks like she tried to copy my style of writing but I was excited. I’m glad she wasn’t afraid to do this with me despite seeing my half-hard groin. 

—

Later we had dinner, it was a delicious meal made of steak, green beans, and mashed potatoes. I learned that Rey loved to cook. Then of course Leia had to ruin my mood saying that I had a thing for baking- even though I like cooking meat much more- she suggested that Rey and I could make all sorts of things for her during the week. Including my red velvet cake, which I used to make back in high school. 

Her smiles, her light giggles, and the way she looked while washing the dishes after dinner was making me hard again. So I went upstairs and stumbled upon the room she was staying in. I snuck in and looked around, it was a regular room that one would expect, just white with a few posters from movies or Tv shows that have been canceled. It smelt like light perfume, a hint of lavender and lemon.

I looked inside her closet and found her underwear. I opened the drawer to find different colors ranging from white to black, she even had some red ones which I found sexy. I wanted to take one to keep for myself and started digging around for one to keep. There was one at the bottom that was very thin and had lace around it. I thought that she was already sexually active just by the look of the underwear. It looked like it was a piece to a set of lingerie. 

Taking a look around and hearing for any footsteps, I quickly put the underwear in my jean pocket. It felt dirty but I needed something to keep that was on her. I placed the underwear back in their respectable places to make it seem like no one was there. Then left the closet and that is when I spotted a small stuffed animal on her desk. It was a small kitten of some sort like those beanie babies you would find in a store. I hesitated before taking that too. Closing the door silently, I went back into my room and smelt the kitten. 

_ Dear kitten, you don’t know how much I yearn for you, _ I dragged it from my chest to my stomach then to the place between my legs. 

Just a quick touch. 

“Ben? Is my ring on the desk?” Rey asked behind the door.

Panicked, I hid the kitten under my pillow and placed the underwear under the mattress so I could answer the door.

Only opening it halfway I invited her in.

“Sorry,” she said. “ I feel like I’m bothering you too much.”

“No, it’s okay.”

She has no idea how much I want to take her. I want there to be marks on her neck, I want there to be a dip in my mattress as I fuck her. I want to straddle her up against the wall and take her. I want it all.

“Huh, I swear I could’ve left it here.”

I helped her look for it but we couldn’t find it in my room. We searched the living room, garden, hallways, and even in the car. Until I eventually found it by the sink in the kitchen. 

“I’m so stupid,” she sighed. “I’m so sorry I just wasted your time.”

She grabbed the ring and smiled at me. “Thank you though, for helping me find it.”

We stared at each other for a moment, her eyes twinkled. She started to lean in but Leia walked in.

“You guys want to play scrabble,” she asked holding the board game.

“Sure,” Rey said.

—

It was around eight o clock when we ended the game. I finally watched some shows on the new flatscreen while Rey went back upstairs to do homework. Three hours passed before I headed to bed but I stopped by her door. I placed my ear up to the door to hear if she was still awake. She wasn’t. So I opened her door to find her asleep at her desk. 

I walked up behind her, silently as to not wake her. I lightly traced her back feeling the sweater she had on, I could see the slight outline of her bra. She snored and I found that adorable, I heard small huffs and she even talked a little in her sleep. Her hair was still in a bun so I felt it- soft like feathers and silk- I took a tentative sniff, then a deep inhale. God, it felt amazing. All the blood that was in my head went straight to my dick.

_ Should I _ , I thought. Should I touch myself here and come on one of her pretty panties? I started to rub the slight bulge on my pants, small pulses of pleasure from each stroke, fuck. This felt good.

I was sidetracked when I heard some groaning and she started to move, she was about to wake up, so I hurried up and left the room before she could awake. 

Closing the door behind me, I dug around in my bag for those sleeping pills. I shouldn’t be thinking about her like this, I shouldn’t want to masturbate to the mere thought of her. Nothing changed, nothing at all. These tiny things I’ve been doing to try and help me out with  _ this _ have changed nothing at all. I took a pill and drank some bottled water. I put on my pajama pants and a plain white t-shirt before crawling into bed.

_ Go away _ , I told my erection as I curled up like a ball in my bed holding the small kitty I stole from Rey up to my chest. An old lullaby Leia used to hum to me appeared in my mind. Soothing me. Maybe I should start over with Rey. Become friends with her instead of luring her into my bed, I think she liked me while teaching her. Maybe she has a thing for me? 

What a day, I met my old friend who doesn’t even remember me to accidentally showing her my groin and teaching her calligraphy, all within twenty-four hours. 

_ Not even I could do that, kid, _ I heard the voice of Han say. I sighed and held the kitten tighter to my chest and my eyes felt heavy as I drifted off to sleep.

_ “Fuck, Ben,” Rey shouted. “Fuck me, just like that.”  _

_ She was riding me as I plowed into her. It felt fucking amazing. I saw glimpses of her pretty tits that were bouncing as I fucked her. I could feel my balls tighten and Rey came with a shout, her cunt was pulsing around my cock.  _

_ “Shit, I’m coming Rey,” I moaned. _

_ “Come inside me, I want to feel your come,” she cooed.  _

_ With one long thrust, I could feel her cervix on the top of my cock as I filled it with my come. I groaned as my orgasm overcame me. Hot, pulsing, pleasure. Fuck, it felt amazing and Rey moaned as she was being filled up to the brim.  _

I woke up to the gross stickiness in my pajama pants.  _ Not again _ , I thought to myself, it’s been months since I came in my pants while sleeping. Those sleeping pills gave me some sleep but I had a sex dream, those pills are awesome! Some sick part of me wants that dream to happen again, a grosser part of me wants it to happen in real life. I’m with the gross part.

Of course, it comes with its cons, I had to get up from my bed and take off my pants and underwear to wash them in the sink. Wet dreams are for pubescent teenage boys not for a grown man. While I was washing it I heard a knock on the door.

“Ben is everything alright in there?” Rey asked. 

_ Fuck, why now? Did I scream or yell when I came. _

I hurried to put on an extra pair of shorts and answered the door, but was left starstruck when I saw what she was wearing. A thin tank top with a pair of shorts that exposed her long creamy legs. The hallway was cold and the nightlight showed that her nipples were hard. Her hair was also down.

“I heard someone groan while I sleeping,” she said.

_ How fucking loud was I? _

“I hit my toe pretty hard on my desk, sorry I didn’t know you were asleep,” I replied.

“It’s okay, I was just wondering if everything was alright.”

She was heading back into her room.

“Goodnight,” I said to her when she was almost at her door.

A light smile was seen through the dim light, “Goodnight...Ben.”

I think at that moment I died a little.

—

I sat at my desk trying to shake off this feeling. I should not be wanting to have sex with Rey, it’s gross to think that about a friend, but I kept imagining the dream over and over again, it was so hard to get rid of. I brought out my calligraphy set and tried telling my growing erection to behave. I tried spelling stuff to make it go down. Red, rage, rainbow, sunshine.  _ Rey, _ I could feel myself growing more and more with each stroke of the pen.  _ Stroking.  _ Stroking her breasts, stroking her long legs, stroking my cock against her pretty mouth.

Fuck. It was started to hurt as my balls started to become blue and my dick was constricted against my pants.  _ Breathe think of something else _ . I couldn’t. It was just Rey everywhere I looked it reminded me of Rey. I couldn’t take it anymore, all this pressure needed to be released.

I locked my bedroom door and brought out my laptop to watch porn. I pulled down my shorts with my underwear and started to tease my cock as I heard the woman’s moans. But it wasn’t  _ her  _ moans now was it? The computer screen showed a woman getting fucked from the back. Maybe if I tried enough, I could imagine it as me and Rey. Five minutes passed by but it didn’t feel good and I was starting to chafe and I could feel my erection starting to go down.

No matter how much I tried to get off to it, I just couldn’t do it. It felt like I was cheating on her even though we weren’t even dating, acquaintances at most. Out of frustration I closed my laptop and pulled up my underwear and shorts, curled in my bed to try and fall asleep. Taking another pill wouldn’t work, it would probably make me sleep until noon. 

About twenty minutes passed and my erection was still present. It wasn’t as strong as before but it was enough to make me horny and uncomfortable. It was torture to have to do this, I looked at my watch and it was two fifty-seven in the morning! I groaned as I tossed and turned trying to get comfortable, that is when I felt the stuffed kitty. I brought it up to my nose and took a deep sniff.  _ Mango. _ Her scent. 

My cock was beginning to grow again and that pushed me over the edge.  _ Fuck it _ , I thought. I got out of my bed and went to Rey’s door. I pressed my ear to the door to hear if she was still awake. I heard nothing but silence so I carefully, and slowly turned the knob to enter her room. With very careful steps with only her nightlight lighting the way, I walked up slowly to her bed to not make the wood creak to her bed.

Somnophilia, known as sleeping princess syndrome and sleeping beauty syndrome, is a paraphilia in which an individual becomes sexually aroused by someone who is unconscious. I never thought such a kink existed until now. I also never got why anyone would want to do that, but now I do.

I pulled down my pants and started to spread that white bead of come, making an up and down motion along my erection. Jerking off, masturbating, choking the chicken, is what they call what I’m doing in front of Rey right now. Her eyes were closed and she was unconscious, she’d never know what happened tonight. She’d never know that I jerked off my cock while she was sleeping.

_ Dirty girl.  _ She wasn’t wearing a bra and her shorts had hiked up to her cute ass. Revealing her even more. I tried my best to keep in the moans that were gathered behind my throat, but my breathing was heavy as I felt pleasure. Massaging the tip of my cock almost pulled me to the edge in an instant but I wanted to enjoy this.

She was laying on her stomach at the edge of the bed, I took my cock and started to rub it on her leg, feeling the smoothness. Then I felt her torso and eventually touched her breast through that thin shirt. Shit, I was about to come, so I placed her underwear on the head of my cock until I started to rapidly stroke until I felt wetness begin to overflow the panty. It took all my willpower not to groan out loudly from the huge wave of pleasure from the orgasm. 

After the high, I felt relief and calmed down my breathing as I stared at her sleeping. Such a beauty. My cock was going down and I could feel it twitch a bit. Then I felt something wet on my toes. I looked down to see some white liquid on my feet. My come had soaked through her underwear and was leaking onto the carpet. That was my cue to leave so I silently walked back to the door and with the slowest movement, I closed the door, no louder than a whisper. I walked through the hallway and entered my room to wash her panty- I left it hanging on the towel rack to dry- I slipped into my bed. Holding the kitten to my chest once again as I played Leia’s lullaby In my head. Drifting off to dreamless slumber.

Tonight was nothing more of a whisper or a shadow of a ghost. Tonight was when a monster was born.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *I do not condone these actions in real life, what Ben has done is illegal and I won’t go into debate on what I put in this fic. It is pure fiction.*

**Author's Note:**

> I have a Twitter its @Damselinwriting and my NSFW art account is @damseNSFW. I’ll probably make this fic 10 or 15 chapters that will be posted by the end of each week. Thanks for reading chapter one of corrupted ☺️


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